Well Intentioned Friends Can Support Our Deficiencies
Freedom is near and dear to the human soul. Most people I know value the freedom to chase their dreams.
Recently, I have been observing a friend who is working overtime chasing her dream of success. Success, for her, has many components – financial, recognition, security, acceptance, material, etc. I think she is a good representation of a normal person with ambition and drive wanting to improve their quality of life.
Her image of success has physical, emotional and psychological components. She is listening to many audio books on success to help her stay focused and motivated. Many of the messages in these self-help materials are in the nature of: you can do it; you can create the life you want; create the life you were destined to have; tell the universe what you want and it will respond; the “secret” is the power of positive thinking or visualization; or similar guidance.
What’s interesting to me is that she already has many of the things she is chasing. She just doesn’t see them or own them. She is, in fact, chasing parts of herself that are already there. There is a not so subtle rejection in this type of behavior.
Somewhere in the mix is a sense of lack. There must be. Why would we seek something we already have unless we don’t see it and feel it is lacking in us?
There seems to be this crazy misunderstanding of “positive” versus “negative” thinking. In the course of my life, I have encountered many, many people who are fanatic about positive thinking. Their positive thinking seems to prohibit them from looking at their more subtle or unconscious negative self-images or beliefs. The thinking seems to be – if I tell myself I’m wonderful, lovable or whatever a zillion times, then eventually I will be regardless of my unconscious beliefs about myself.
Well, I guess that’s one way to pass the limited time we have on this earth.
This orientation toward self-help and self-improvement is very wide spread in our culture – to the extent that it is easy for our friends to offer us support and encouragement that actually supports our unconscious beliefs instead of really supporting our movement toward freedom. It is well intentioned help that comes from a place of love and caring, but think about it – if I support your efforts to chase your tail – is that really the support you need?
I think the more loving thing to do is to try and help you stop chasing your tail and and take a close look in the mirror. Why aren’t you able to see what is so obvious to others? It’s not negative to explore negative beliefs and self-images. In fact, it’s one of the most positive things we can do to support our movement toward true freedom, wholeness and fulfillment.
Instead of avoiding or trying to cover up those limiting beliefs, we should be trying to expose them to the light of consciousness so we can see them for what they are – beliefs – ideas about ourselves that have been taken to be true. Seeing them in the clear light of the present moment sets in motion one of the most fundamental truths of realty – the truth will set us free.
Items of Interest
Related Posts
- Why Affirmations Don’t Work
- Why Affirmation Works
- Coming to You Soon Through Understanding
- What’s Wrong with This Life?
Links of Interest
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A couple of years ago, I started noticing that there were times when I was asking a question in myself, or interested in something, or curious, or simply in a state of open awareness – and a process of revelation and understanding happened that did not require me to put the question into words.
Often, when I am describing my experience or insights to someone, they think that I am engaged in what I call mechanical thinking – the mind is chewing its way through something, examining the details, looking in every nook and cranny. But these days, that is often not the case.
As I sit here working on the 10 blogs I author, I just got a strong desire for a cup of dark roast coffee. It’s the first such impulse I’ve had in the 14 days since I had my last cup of java.
