Open-Secrets

Category: Questions

  • Narcissistic Injury

    NarcissismNarcissistic injury is one of those loaded psychological terms. In fact, all things narcissistic seem to be. I think that is because the word narcissism or narcissistic is generally used to describe pathology and not the over-arching reality that everyone with an ego (everyone) is a narcissist.

    Narcissistic defenses are present to some degree in all people, but are especially pervasive in narcissists. These defenses are used to protect the narcissist from experiencing the feelings of the narcissistic injury. – StudyWorld

    Ego identity, the false self, or whatever you want to call it, is fundamentally a case of mistaken identity. The “I” or “me” involved in this case of mistaken identity is self-centered and self-promotional.

    Narcissists cannot love others because they don’t love their TRUE self. They “love” a fiction – the FALSE SELF. They are full of feelings of inferiority and self-loathing and they are very sadistic and self-punishing when they incur a narcissistic injury (when they “fail”). You can’t love others if you do not love yourself. Moreover, narcissists do not understand what it means to be human (i.e., they lack empathy). To them other people are bi-dimensional, cartoon, cardboard cutouts, or, at most, an audience. Others are FUNCTIONS, INSTRUMENTS, EXTENSIONS. They, therefore, cannot be loved for what THEY ARE but only for WHAT THEY PROVIDE. This is no real love. Sam Vaknin

    Narcissistic injury can be understood at a more macro level to be the wounding that occurs from not being seen or not being heard. Narcissistic injury, when experienced at its root, is the most painful wound in the soul – the wound of disconnection from True Nature.

    The narcissist says, “I exist.” A narcissistic injury is you showing him that he does not exist in your life. Kicking him in the teeth and telling him he is a jerk is not a narcisstic injury– because he must therefore exist.

     

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  • Universal Love

    Universal_loveWhat is universal love? Is it the same as unconditional love or is unconditional love a subcategory of universal love?

    It is my, and many others, observation that love is something experienced by most of humanity and yet it remains mostly misunderstood. It’s interesting. Everyone knows what it is, but few really know it or understand it in a deep way.

    I think this is because most understand love in emotional terms only. And for the most part emotional love is entangled in unconscious material from out past.

    Universal love is conscious and loving at the same time. It is also known as universal consciousness or cosmic consciousness. Universal love is a unification of all aspects of Essence. When you experience universal love you understand the action of love. – A.H. Almaas

    This is a pretty wild idea, especially if you understand what Almaas means when he refers to conscious and Essence. Don’t misunderstand his meaning of conscious with getting up in the morning and having your eyes open.

    Equating universal love with universal consciousness and cosmic consciousness means this is much more than just expanding the space love inhabits. Universal love then not only exists everywhere and at every time, but is also the very consciousness that underlies all existence.

    Which means it is more fundamental and preexists emotional love which has evolutionary history. What is love then, if it is not emotional, in it’s more fundamental nature?

    The question then is not what is universal love, but what is love? And most assume they know – just ask any teenager! And they do, but they don’t.

     

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  • Ego Death

    Ego death

    What does the term *EgoDeath* exactly mean, in brief?

    Ego death, as I think it should be defined, is a set of insights about, and a powerful experience of, the impotence and logical invalidity of the accustomed apparent control-agent who seems to reside in the mind. Ego death is associated closely with the loss of control, or the loss of the sense of being a legitimate controller.

    Ego is not entirely false. To say that “ego dies” really means, more precisely, that the cognitive structure labelled ‘ego’, and the egoic mental model of the world, are systematically re-conceived, just like the components of Newtonian physics were systematically re-conceived to form the new system of Einsteinian physics. Ego death means that the mind no longer centrally identifies with the ego. The locus of control or origin of control is no longer seriously taken to be the ego. The transcendent mind knows that there is a source of control underlying the ego, and that ego’s power of control is an epiphenomenon. – Michael Hoffman

    Looking closely into one’s attitude and orientation around ego death reveals that it is usually the ego itself, that has reified this notion and is – seeking it’s own demise? This seeking is just another means the ego has of maintaining it’s structure.

    “You cannot make the egoless state into a future goal and then work toward it. All you get is more dissatisfaction, more inner conflict, because it will always seem that you have not arrived yet, have not “attained” that state yet. When freedom from ego is your goal for the future, you give yourself more time, and more time means more ego.

    “Look carefully to find out if your spiritual search is a disguised form of ego. – Eckhart Tolle

    Instead of seeking ego death or enlightenemnt, which is mostly goal oriented in time and space – and thus a creation of the ego (and therefore antithetical to ego death), endeavor to understand yourself more deeply. Accept the ego and inquire deeply into it. True understanding will reveal the truth and dissolve the false naturally without the need for us to reject anything.

    Enlightenment equals ego death. For millennia this equation has held true. While the term “ego,” meaning “I” in Latin, is obviously a relatively recent addition to the English lexicon, just about every major enlightenment teaching in the world has long held that the highest goal of spiritual and indeed human life lies in the renunciation, rejection and, ultimately, the death of the need to hold on to a separate, self-centered existence. From Shankara’s rantings against the ego as a “strong and deadly serpent” to Muhammad’s declaration of a “holy war against the nafs [ego]” to the Zen masters’ fierce determination to use any means necessary to break the ego’s grip on their students, this “ego-negative” interpretation of the spiritual path has remained enshrined in enlightenment teachings for ages, for the most part unquestioned and unchallenged. What is Enlightenment

    Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

    Asking this a million times in a sincere, hearful way will reveal what ego death really is.

    Image by Bad Kitty

     

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  • Narcissistic Rage

    It’s all the rage! Rage seems in vogue these days. The current explosion of narcissistic rage in the culture seems like an organic evolution of the “me generation.” Every new movie, song, or speech seems to set someone off – and don’t even mention the road rage phenomenon.

    Narcisisstic_rageIs narcissism at the root of it all?

    A narcissistic injury occurs when someone defeats or criticizes the narcissistic individual. The narcissist may not show it outwardly, but he is haunted by criticisms and defeats. When a narcissistic injury occurs, the narcissist begins to feel empty, degraded, and humiliated and he is capable of retaliating with narcissistic rage. His reactions constitute disdain or defiant attacks.

    What we witnessed last night at midnight –if you bothered to stay up you heard it; if not, you heard it this morning on the news–was an outbreak of narcissistic rage from John Kerry who simply cannot believe that anyone could possibly question anything the candidate has said or done in the past. See Here and Here for details.

    The thing about narcissistic rage is that it is so volatile, so illogical, so primoridal – that wound cuts deep into the soul.

    Narcissistic rage can include phenomena as different as slight annoyance, paranoiac rancor, and catatonic fury. Linked to loss of control, it signals the existence of some unresolved psychic injury of an archaic, narcissistic character. Such rage aims to repair an injustice, a narcissistic wound unrelieved so long as shame persists and the witness to it is not destroyed. Thus, the need for revenge in the face of ridicule, disdain or…

     

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  • Object Constancy

    According to object relations theory, object constancy involves maintaining a lasting relationship with a specific object, or rejecting any substitute for such an object. Example of the latter: rejecting mothering from anyone except one’s own mother.

    Object_relations_theoryObject constancy is “the capacity to recognize and tolerate loving and hostile feelings toward the same object; the capacity to keep feelings centered on a specific object; and the capacity to value an object for attributes other than its function of satisfying needs. – Margaret Mahler

    You may know people who see others as all good or all bad – partisan politics?? And of course there are those that only value people according to their utility. Many people long to be real, to with others that are real, and have real relationships.

    Object constancy is usually defined as the capacity to see and relate to the other as a person in his or her own right. This capacity is part of the quality of the Personal Essence, of being personal and able to make direct personal contact. – A. H. Almaas

     

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  • Objective Reality

    Objective_reality

    Is objective reality possible from a subjective entitiy?

    We are using the term objective reality in contrast to subjective reality, which is reality seen through our inner mental filters that are shaped by our past conditioning. Objective reality is how things really are. – A.H. Almaas

    What is objective realtiy?

    From Scientologists, to The Matrix, to a recent post by Steve Pavlina there are a lot of people out there who seem to be claiming that objective reality doesn’t exist. Or at least, that it only exists in the way you choose it to. This is a seductive theory, but it’s also nonsense. Here’s why:

    Is it possible to influence objective reality?

    Francis Bacon knew that in order to command nature, one must act according to its rules and identity. The statement Reality is Absolute is the explicit recognition of the primacy of existence. This means that reality is not subject to wishes, whims, prayers, or miracles. If you want to change the world, you must act according to reality. SOLO HQ

    We have three major candidates for the Presidency and I am wondering – which do you think is closer to objective reality and why?

    Does issue flip-flop support the notion that perceiving objective reality is impossible for a political candidate given their subjective inflexibility?

     

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