Understanding object relations theory gives one invaluable insight into themselves and others.
Object Relations Theory is the idea that the ego-self exists in relation to other objects, which may be external or internal. The internal objects are internalized versions of external objects, primarily formed from early interactions with the environment (primarily parents).
Three fundamental “affects” that can exist between the self and the other:
- attachment
- frustration
- rejection
Object relations is a way the mind organizes information. The mind is always relating and comparing what is happening to the past – looking for understanding and meaning. At a 
subconscious level, object relations is how we project the past onto the present. We rarely see others or events as they are – we see the past and interact with the past.
Object relations are not just about people. An idea, and ideal, your car, your house, your situation – all of these are part of object relations in your subconscious mind.
Object relations theory helps explain “our buttons” and those endless cycles we continue to go through. Digging down into the dark grey matter is not pleasant at times, but it can be freeing.
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