Grief, Sorrow & Loss – Working through Attachment
The other night, I reengaged a piece of work and exploration that had begun about 8 to 10 months ago. At that time, I was reviewing the manuscript for A. H. Almaas’ new book, Diamond Heart V – Inexhaustible Mystery (release date 7/12/11).
Chapter Titles:
Poor in Spirit
Guest Comes at Night
Sinking Your Boats
Suffering and Cessation
Absolute Absence
Beyond Consciousness
Here’s Looking At You
Living with Truth
Basic Fault
Christ the Logos
The Pattern
Attunement to Reality
Divine Sport
Reading through the initial chapters in the book, I began to experience a deep sorrow and a sense of impending loss. As I inquired into my experience, I became aware that the sense of loss had to do with the loss of the world. This quickened my curiosity as I wondered how/why I was going to lose the world.
As I stayed with the experience of the course of several days, I realized that something significant was beginning to shift in me and that part of the change would be a loss or transformation of my known, historic self. The sense was of change so profound that my relationship and knowledge of my known world would radically shift – the world I had been born into and grown up in would disappear.
My heart was very sad – I love the world I know. I do not want to lose it. Ah, attachment. I am attached to the world as I know it. My heart is attached to the world, it’s beauty, magnificence, richness and wonder. The world is full of my dreams and hopes and aspirations. How will I find wholeness, fulfillment, completeness if I lose the world? How will I be able to lead a full, rich, realized life if I lose the world?
The person with those thoughts and desires and hopes is what needs to be seen through. He is what needs to disappear. His known world, the constructed worldview with all of it’s history, issues, future orientation and reified knowledge is precisely what is obscuring the world in its pristine nature.
This exploration had faded to the back burner over the past several months, but the other night it resurfaced in more depth, subtlety and poignancy. An ocean of tears. An innocent heart. A belief that the future will result in the loss of personal love.
Coincidentally (or not), I just happened to attend a group last night that was reviewing a DVD from Almaas’ Wisdom of Life & Death retreat. The session being reviewed was titled – Cherishing the Moment and to my “no surprise” it directly addressed many of the elements of my continuing exploration.