Tag: fear

  • Working with Fear

    Working with Fear

    A Follow-Up to “What Americans Fear Most”

    In the recent exploration of “What Americans Fear Most,” we uncovered a staggering truth: fear isn’t just a passing shadow in American life; it’s a constant companion. From corruption and illness to global threats, the fears shared by over half of the population reveal a nation grappling with uncertainty on every level. Yet beneath these specific fears lies something deeper, universal—the ego’s core fear of annihilation, the driving force behind its every action.

    Podcast Discussion

    This follow-up article isn’t about fixing fear or offering quick solutions. Instead, it’s about stepping into the storm with curiosity and courage. Fear, when faced, has the potential to be a powerful teacher, a guide to understanding what we value, protect, and resist. For coaches and those working with clients, fear isn’t just an obstacle; it’s an invitation to transformation. The following insights and practices are designed to help you work with fear—whether your own or your clients—and uncover the possibilities it holds for growth and self-discovery.

    Where your fear is, there is your task.
    Carl Jung

    Let’s move beyond simply managing fear and learn how to engage with it as a partner toward deeper awareness.

    Turning the Shadow into a Guide

    Turning the Shadow into a Guide

    1. Start by Meeting Fear Eye-to-Eye
      Invite your client to sit with their fear, no running, no hiding—just presence. Ask them to imagine fear as a guest who’s knocked on their door. What does it look like? Sound like? What’s its first demand? Suddenly, fear becomes tangible, not just a formless terror, and you’ve shifted the game from victim to participant.
    2. Build a Sanctuary, Not a Fortress
      The work begins with trust—not in solutions, but in the space you hold together. Let them know this is where the fear can unravel and be messy and raw. Show them that the walls of this sanctuary don’t need to block fear out but can hold it safely inside for exploration.
    3. The Question That Stops the Spin
      When fear circles like a vulture, ask the kind of question that brings it to a halt: “What’s the worst thing fear is protecting you from?” or “If this fear were a story, who’s writing the ending?” These aren’t quick fixes. They’re lit matches dropped into a dark cave—watch what lights up.
    4. Make Fear an Ally, Not an Enemy
      Ask them to imagine fear not as an intruder but as a messenger with ancient wisdom. What does it want them to see? What treasure is buried beneath its warnings? This reframing can transform the energy of fear from resistance to curiosity.
    5. The Body Never Lies
      Let them feel the fear—not just name it, but physically track it. Is it clenching in the chest, burning in the belly? Breathe with it, let it swell, then see what happens when they stop fighting. The body knows what the mind fears to confront. Let it guide the way out.
    6. Steal from the Mystics
      Borrow the words of those who’ve walked through the fire. Share Rumi’s whisper: “Try not to resist the changes that come your way… the rose came from the thorn.” Or Buddha’s stark truth: “Fear does not prevent death. It prevents life.” These aren’t just quotes—they’re handholds in the climb.
    7. Show Them Fear Is a Mirror
      Fear isn’t random; it’s precise. Reflect it to them: “What does this fear say about what you value most?” or “If this fear disappeared, what might you have to confront instead?” Let them discover that fear doesn’t just obscure—it also reveals.
    8. Harness the Energy of the Dragon
      Fear is raw power, pure electricity. Show them how to ride it instead of shrink from it. Breathwork, movement, or even shouting into the void—turn the static charge of fear into momentum. It’s not about suppressing it but learning to dance with it.
    9. Play with Paradox
      What if fear isn’t a problem to solve but a mystery to inhabit? Challenge them: “What if this fear isn’t asking for resolution but understanding?” Let the paradox sink in—sometimes the way out is not out but deeper.
    10. End with the Unfinished Story
      Leave them this: “Fear will visit again—it always does. But each time, it teaches you more about what it means to live.” Let them ponder this: fear isn’t the enemy of courage. It’s the doorway to it.
    process map for working with fear
    Coaching through fear is not about giving answers.
    It’s about lighting torches for your client as they walk their labyrinth,
    knowing they’ll find themselves waiting somewhere at the center.
  • The Enneagram and the Election

    The Enneagram and the Election

    Mapping Collective and Personal Processes of Fear and Transformation

    With its intricate geometry and universal principles, the Enneagram offers a profound lens for understanding societal and personal transformation. Growth and change are rarely linear; they unfold in cycles, driven by moments of disruption known as shock points—instances where external energy or intervention becomes necessary to maintain momentum or shift direction. The recent U.S. presidential election serves as a shock point, exposing societal vulnerabilities and deepening fear and uncertainty for many. Yet, within this crisis lies the potential for transformation.

    In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity.
    Sun Tzu, The Art of War

    By mapping the election as a societal shock point and fear as a personal process onto the Enneagram, we can collectively and individually explore pathways for moving from despair to integration.

    Podcast Discussion

    The Election as a Shock Point

    The Enneagram’s Law of Seven describes how processes unfold in cycles, encountering resistance or inertia. Shock points are critical moments where intentional energy is required to redirect the trajectory. In the current political crisis, the election has illuminated systemic cracks—economic inequality, democratic fragility, and societal polarization—that demand reckoning.

    Point 6: Fear and Doubt in the Collective Psyche

    The election reflects the energy of Point 6, a place of doubt, anxiety, and mistrust. Collective fear has manifested in:

    • Uncertainty about the future: Concerns about whether democratic institutions can withstand erosion and upheaval.
    • Distrust of leadership: Alarm over policies prioritizing the wealthy at the expense of the middle class and social safety nets.
    • Anxiety over personal security: Fears about healthcare, financial stability, and fundamental rights.

    While Point 6 is fraught with uncertainty, it also offers the potential to cultivate resilience and solidarity, transforming fear into a catalyst for collective action.

    Bridge of Transformation

    Point 8: The Dynamics of Power

    The election has also activated the energy of Point 8, which, when misaligned, can manifest as domination and control. Policies favoring the top 1% deepen inequality, fostering division and survival-oriented behaviors. However, Point 8 also contains the potential for awakening: as the misuse of power becomes apparent, it can galvanize resistance and inspire the reclamation of collective agency.

    Point 1: Reform and Justice

    The suffering and despair experienced by the middle class may spark the energy of Point 1, representing clarity and the pursuit of justice. As inequities are exposed, reform-minded movements can emerge, driven by demands for fairness and accountability. This energy provides a foundation for aligning societal values with action.

    You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.
    Buckminster Fuller

    Fear as a Personal Process

    For individuals, the election has amplified fear and despair, mirroring the energy of Point 6 in the Enneagram. While paralyzing at first, these emotions offer an opportunity for profound inner transformation if approached with awareness. The hexad (Points 1, 4, 2, 8, 5, 7) provides a roadmap for moving beyond fear into constructive possibilities.

    • Point 1: Reconnecting with Core Values –The first step is to clarify what truly matters. Fear scatters attention, but grounding yourself in core principles—such as fairness, compassion, and justice—offers stability. Ask, What do I stand for? What is non-negotiable at this moment? Aligning with your values can transform fear into a motivating force for action.
    • Point 4: Acknowledging Emotions – Fear and despair must be acknowledged, not suppressed. This stage involves sitting with uncomfortable emotions, allowing them to surface and deepen your understanding of their roots. Sharing vulnerability within a supportive community fosters connection and solidarity, helping transform isolation into belonging.
    • Point 2: Engagement and Support – Fear often freezes action, but moving toward Point 2 involves seeking connection. Build networks, engage with like-minded individuals, and collaborate toward shared goals. This shift from internal paralysis to external engagement energizes the process, transforming despair into meaningful action.
    • Point 8: Mobilizing Strength – As engagement grows, so does the need for Point 8 energy—empowerment and the courage to confront challenges. This is the moment to stand firm in the face of perceived threats, mobilizing inner strength without falling into aggression. Healthy Point 8 energy channels fear into constructive power.
    • Point 5: Reflecting and Strategizing – After taking action, reflection becomes essential. Point 5 energy invites careful analysis and long-term planning. What is working? What needs adjustment? This stage ensures that action remains intentional and aligned with overarching goals.
    • Point 7: Finding Hope and Possibility – Finally, fear gives way to hope. Point 7 represents innovation and the reemergence of joy. Here, creative solutions take root, and individuals reconnect with a sense of possibility, imagining a future shaped by collective effort and vision.
    Forces of Unity

    Triadic Forces

    Both personal and societal processes are governed by the Enneagram’s Law of Three, which highlights the interplay of three forces:

    • Active Force: Fear and despair catalyze movement, creating urgency for change.
    • Passive Force: Systemic or emotional Obstacles must be acknowledged and navigated.
    • Reconciling Force: Trust and collaboration harmonize tensions, transforming fear into constructive action.

    Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well,
    but the certainty that something makes sense,
    regardless of how it turns out.
    Václav Havel

    Integration and Unity

    At its core, the Enneagram reminds us that every process returns to the circle, symbolizing wholeness and interconnectedness. For society, this means using the shock point of the election to build stronger, more inclusive systems. For individuals, it means integrating fear into a more extensive understanding of resilience and purpose.

    Societal Unfoldment

    1. Fear and uncertainty (Point 6) expose systemic vulnerabilities, forcing collective reflection.
    2. Action rooted in shared values (Point 1) and emotional connection (Point 4) creates momentum.
    3. Strength (Point 8) and strategy (Point 5) combine to build resilience.
    4. Finally, hope and innovation (Point 7) guide society toward a unified vision (Point 9).

    Personal Transformation

    While painful, fear becomes a gateway to growth when approached with awareness. The process moves from paralysis to clarity, connection, empowerment, and hope, allowing individuals to navigate uncertainty with greater trust in their inner resources.

    Fear and Crisis as Catalysts

    The election and its aftermath reflect personal and collective journeys through fear and uncertainty. The Enneagram teaches that these moments while challenging, are not endpoints—they are opportunities for transformation. By engaging consciously with the process, we can move beyond despair, turning fear into clarity, connection, and constructive action. Whether as individuals or as a society, the Enneagram reminds us that the possibility for renewal and integration remains even in darkness. Through conscious participation, we can transform this shock point into a moment of profound growth—one step, one point, one possibility at a time.

  • Price for Peace

    Dreamstime_5592260The price for peace

    Is your life of

    Pain & suffering

    Worry & agitation

    Fear & emptiness

    Petty thoughts & needs

    The dull drab monotonous

    No wonder

    So few

    Are willing

    To pay

     

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  • Change & Identity

    Identity would seem to be the garment with which one covers the nakedness of the self, in which case, it is best that the garment be loose, a little like the robes of the desert, through which one’s nakedness can always be felt, and, sometimes, discerned. This trust in one’s nakedness is all that gives one the power to change one’s robes. – James Baldwin

    Did you ever wonder why it seems so hard to change? Have you ever met a friend who seems radically different from the way you used to know them and you find yourself relating to them like they hadn’t changed at all? Or found it uncomfortable, if not impossible, to greet them from beginner’s mind? Or maybe you felt like you changed, but no one is taking the time to meet the new you – interactions are based on rehashing old history until the new you is once again covered in the dust of history.

    Changes by Max Gail

    One day I found a brand new me whom some of my friends couldn’t see
    was every bit as real a guy as the more familiar I.

    But with an unfamiliar script which told them surely I had flipped
    or else was going through some stage which soon Id drop and act my age
    as if my age weren’t just a fact, but really something I should act.

    They thought that who we really are was only who we’d been so far.
    Well, I must say it was a shock to find these friends a stumbling block
    along the way to all the me’s I hope will put my mind at ease.

    I wasn’t trying to scare or dare or show myself as more aware
    but merely trying to share my thoughts and clear the air of
    shoulds and oughts.

    It seems that staying just the same is really just a hopeless game
    played to show that you’re for real instead of feeling what you feel.

    Instead of following our hearts, we check ourselves and play the part
    that parents wrote with loving pains and planted in our infant brains.

    If change is something I must do, I guess my friends must change some too.

    So – I must learn to leave them free to misconstrue a truth in me
    ‘cuz words are words and never deeds and sometimes time is all one needs
    to understand a changing friend and let the newest colors blend.

    So I must learn to stay alone and dig these new me’s on my own
    until they’re such a part of me, they’re something any fool can see.

    And learn to see that such a chasm was caused by my ENTHUSIASM!

  • Fear & Vulnerability

    Fearvulnerability almaas

    The moment your vulnerability is complete and you are aware of oneness, there is no fear. – A.H. Almaas

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