Open-Secrets

Tag: inner-critic

  • Superego Loves the Enneagram of Personality Types

    Comparing Mind – Junkyard Dog of a Critic

    The problem with in-laws
    Is the concern
    For their family values
    Not you
    The mind’s orientation
    Toward the soul
    Is similar ———– jh

    It’s impossible to judge a book by its cover if there is no comparing mind. If there is no reference point for comparison then, it’s damn difficult to find fault with anything.

    comparing mind junkyard dog superegoNow, a comparing mind can be a good thing when it’s functioning free of the “judging mind”;  “inner critic”; superego; or “junkyard dog”. It helps us to get home with a sack of oranges instead of a box of zucchini. But, unless we have engaged in specific work on this part of ourselves, it’s a given that it is running amok and causing us an enormous amount of suffering.

    If we really look into the situation, we find that this junkyard dog is just plain mean and nasty. It’s being driven by self-hatred and it’s using our libidinal energy (life force) against us. I wish it weren’t so, but the situation is even worse. (more…)

  • Bulletproof Realization

    Self-Realization – Beyond Concepts, Beliefs, Attitudes & Attacks

    bulletproof realizationI got on the spiritual path at age 19. The experience that precipitated my interest in spiritual development, self-realization, God-realization, enlightenment and such was, at that time, just mind boggling. Today, I realize that the experience involved a descent of essence into my consciousness and body, and an awakening of the point.

    Like many, I have spent years seeking, searching, making half-assed attempts at meditation (daily practice), attending workshops, retreats and in the course of events spending more than tens of thousands of dollars. In the process of all of that, I matured (to some degree!) physically, emotionally and spiritually. My journey or process deepened. My orientation reoriented. My interests and curiosity started going places I could not have imagined.

    letting go weight liftingToday, I find myself here – not going anywhere, no interest in changing or making something happen. It seems things change on their own and that there is an intelligence guiding it all that is more in touch with what I need to unwind than my mind on it’s best day could offer up. A real weight-lifting experience – so to speak.

    I recently attended Byron Brown’s Soul without Shame workshop, a 3 1/2 day teaching on disengaging from the superego / inner critic. The superego / inner critic is one of the places of arrested development in our psyches and souls that constantly attacks and undermines our realization. Interestingly, in the beginning it actually serves us to move toward deeper realization, but then it really gets in the way. Doubt is one of it’s most effective tools. It also works through other people by producing attacks from the outside.

    So there I was minding my own business two days after the workshop reading a magazine when I came upon this:

    The harder you hit this material, the more powerful it becomes.  F. Daniel Tsai, Novana

    And that is where and how the words bulletproof and realization crossed paths in my brain and got me to thinking and contemplating bulletproof realization. I haven’t the time, nor inclination to share the breadth and depth of my contemplation, but I will say this – if we want to bulletproof our realization – live our realization, without goals & artifice, penness, curiosity and not-knowing are better supports and servants for orienting us.

    Realization is practice. Practice is realization.

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  • The Cycle of Blame is Inertia

    Self-Recrimination is an Endless Suffering

    Why do we continue to suffer under the tyranny of blame, when there is a road less traveled that will lead us to wonder and awe? (more…)

  • Self-Image Abuse

    compassionSelf-Torture is a Big Love Affair

    A friend of mine recently commented that her ego hated a recent video someone had taken of her. An hour later, in a book I am reading the author addressed self-abuse – “We would never let people treat others the way we treat ourselves.”

    The author went on to say that this chronic internal negative self-talk is probably the number one factor in personal misery. And this internal criticism is what keeps our lives locked in their current form.

    No big surprises for me, but I appreciate the synchronicity of the reminders. My friend is pleasant on the eyes and a joy to be around, but things are different for her. Inside her head a totally different reality exists.

    As it happens, I was discussing this friend with common friend earlier in the day and we both see her similarly. It’s amazing how we could get the whole country to say – wow, you’re fabulous – and our inner critic’s opinion would out-weigh 250 million people.

    Here’s the $64 million dollar question – who’s voice is that in our heads? We weren’t born with it. It wasn’t pre-installed. It came from outside to find a cozy little home inside where it can endlessly rattle around making our lives miserable – robbing us of the simple treasures in life – peace, joy, innocence…

    How’s the daily mental chit chat going for you?

    Items of Interest

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  • Missing My Pocket Parents

    Critical Bitching from Pocket Parents

    pocket_parent_criticYears ago, when visiting friends in Boston, I wandered into a toy store and found a set of “pocket parents.” Each pocket parent was about the size of a pack of cigarettes and came with five buttons, but no battery.

    With the battery installed, I could push a button on “Mom” and hear “You’ll put your eye out with that!” in a screeching voice reminiscent of George Castanza’s mother. Or I could pull out “Dad” and hear “I’ll give you something to cry about!”

    Each parent had four bitches most of us heard thousands of times in childhood. If  I really wanted a blast from the past, I could push the 5th button and get a litany of reprimands.

    I purchased those pocket parents to use as teaching aids in some of the work I do with the superego. A little levity can go a long way in making a point while keeping things from becoming too heavy and depressing – an easy rut to fall into when working with the inner critic.

    A quick search on Google failed to lead me to replacements for my vanished pocket parents – I think they missed the move to California from Utah a couple of years ago.

    If you happen to locate a set of pocket parents, let me know – I’d love another set.

    Disengaging from the superego is some of the most beneficial work we can do. How’s your superego work going?

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  • Give Me THE GIFT

    Give THE GIFT of Honest Feedback

    We’re in the midst of the gift-giving season. As we wander the malls, the boutiques and the Internet looking for those perfect gifts, let’s not forget one of the gifts that serves the soul – honest feedback.

    Superego, inner critic and self-esteem issues can inhibit us from providing valuable feedback to those we meet, greet and love. The same issues can prevent us from receiving feedback that would be invaluable for our process, growth and unfoldment.

    THE GIFT often falls under the heading of – tough love. The invitation extended here is for us to be receptive to honest feedback. Embracing feedback from others is invaluable – EVEN IF IT IS TOTALLY OFF BASE.

    Feedback that is insightful and on-target gives us an opportunity to see ourselves more clearly and take corrective action. Feedback that misses the mark often creates a reaction in us, which provides us insight into our deeper more subtle issues and structures that continue to distort our perception of ourselves and others.

    Resistance to “negative” feedback can stop us from discovering some of the most valuable insight. Some of the most profound growth opportunities (gifts) often come in wrapped in plain or ugly gift wrap.

    When someone asks if we are open to feedback – consider this response – Go ahead, give me THE GIFT.

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    Items of Interest

Open-Secrets