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Tag: narcissistic injury

  • Narcissistic Injury

    NarcissismNarcissistic injury is one of those loaded psychological terms. In fact, all things narcissistic seem to be. I think that is because the word narcissism or narcissistic is generally used to describe pathology and not the over-arching reality that everyone with an ego (everyone) is a narcissist.

    Narcissistic defenses are present to some degree in all people, but are especially pervasive in narcissists. These defenses are used to protect the narcissist from experiencing the feelings of the narcissistic injury. – StudyWorld

    Ego identity, the false self, or whatever you want to call it, is fundamentally a case of mistaken identity. The “I” or “me” involved in this case of mistaken identity is self-centered and self-promotional.

    Narcissists cannot love others because they don’t love their TRUE self. They “love” a fiction – the FALSE SELF. They are full of feelings of inferiority and self-loathing and they are very sadistic and self-punishing when they incur a narcissistic injury (when they “fail”). You can’t love others if you do not love yourself. Moreover, narcissists do not understand what it means to be human (i.e., they lack empathy). To them other people are bi-dimensional, cartoon, cardboard cutouts, or, at most, an audience. Others are FUNCTIONS, INSTRUMENTS, EXTENSIONS. They, therefore, cannot be loved for what THEY ARE but only for WHAT THEY PROVIDE. This is no real love. Sam Vaknin

    Narcissistic injury can be understood at a more macro level to be the wounding that occurs from not being seen or not being heard. Narcissistic injury, when experienced at its root, is the most painful wound in the soul – the wound of disconnection from True Nature.

    The narcissist says, “I exist.” A narcissistic injury is you showing him that he does not exist in your life. Kicking him in the teeth and telling him he is a jerk is not a narcisstic injury– because he must therefore exist.

     

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  • Narcissistic Rage

    It’s all the rage! Rage seems in vogue these days. The current explosion of narcissistic rage in the culture seems like an organic evolution of the “me generation.” Every new movie, song, or speech seems to set someone off – and don’t even mention the road rage phenomenon.

    Narcisisstic_rageIs narcissism at the root of it all?

    A narcissistic injury occurs when someone defeats or criticizes the narcissistic individual. The narcissist may not show it outwardly, but he is haunted by criticisms and defeats. When a narcissistic injury occurs, the narcissist begins to feel empty, degraded, and humiliated and he is capable of retaliating with narcissistic rage. His reactions constitute disdain or defiant attacks.

    What we witnessed last night at midnight –if you bothered to stay up you heard it; if not, you heard it this morning on the news–was an outbreak of narcissistic rage from John Kerry who simply cannot believe that anyone could possibly question anything the candidate has said or done in the past. See Here and Here for details.

    The thing about narcissistic rage is that it is so volatile, so illogical, so primoridal – that wound cuts deep into the soul.

    Narcissistic rage can include phenomena as different as slight annoyance, paranoiac rancor, and catatonic fury. Linked to loss of control, it signals the existence of some unresolved psychic injury of an archaic, narcissistic character. Such rage aims to repair an injustice, a narcissistic wound unrelieved so long as shame persists and the witness to it is not destroyed. Thus, the need for revenge in the face of ridicule, disdain or…

     

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