Open-Secrets

Tag: self-esteem

  • Give Me THE GIFT

    Give THE GIFT of Honest Feedback

    We’re in the midst of the gift-giving season. As we wander the malls, the boutiques and the Internet looking for those perfect gifts, let’s not forget one of the gifts that serves the soul – honest feedback.

    Superego, inner critic and self-esteem issues can inhibit us from providing valuable feedback to those we meet, greet and love. The same issues can prevent us from receiving feedback that would be invaluable for our process, growth and unfoldment.

    THE GIFT often falls under the heading of – tough love. The invitation extended here is for us to be receptive to honest feedback. Embracing feedback from others is invaluable – EVEN IF IT IS TOTALLY OFF BASE.

    Feedback that is insightful and on-target gives us an opportunity to see ourselves more clearly and take corrective action. Feedback that misses the mark often creates a reaction in us, which provides us insight into our deeper more subtle issues and structures that continue to distort our perception of ourselves and others.

    Resistance to “negative” feedback can stop us from discovering some of the most valuable insight. Some of the most profound growth opportunities (gifts) often come in wrapped in plain or ugly gift wrap.

    When someone asks if we are open to feedback – consider this response – Go ahead, give me THE GIFT.

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  • Self-Rejection – Rejecting the Self

    Self-rejectionWhat’s the root of self-rejection?

    Some will say lack of self-worth; others projection; others self-hate.

    Self-rejection is a function of the mind

    The mind is the gate that opens or closes, thereby allowing or preventing direct experience. Any action of the mind that blocks direct experience is self-rejecting; conversely, any action of the mind that allows direct experience is self-accepting. – John Ruskan

    Any serious exploration of self-rejection needs to include:

    • An exploration into the “self” being rejected as well as an open-ended inquiry into the whole notion of self.
    • An exploration into the ego’s fundamental dynamic of rejection. Rejection is at the core of all ego activity.

    This of course can lead to a real eye-opener around the notion of personal choice.

    Every internal action involves some kind of rejection of our present state, our actual reality. And there is a deeper consequence to this attitude of rejection: By rejecting what is so for us in the present moment, we are rejecting ourselves. – A.H. Almaas

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  • Belittling Whittling

    Self-esteemThey live among us and seem to be breeding faster than a warren of rabbits on amphetamines. Chip, chip, chip…

    They spend their days whittling others down. They are the belittlers, the whittlers of others’ self-esteem. Whether their actions are conscious or unconscious, these distorted souls often display a self-righteous attitude to justify their violence.

    How do we handle judgmental, critical people who seem stuck in a pattern of behavior so narrow that relating to others is reduced to an endless stream of put-downs and objections?

    We could handle it the way another mindless group of ignoramuses always offers up as a solution to complex issues – “Nuke ‘em all and let God sort it out.”

    We could try reasoning with the assassins of self-esteem, but this type of ingrained behavior is usually indicative of minds too shallow to reflect on the possibility of personal improvement opportunities on their end.

    The only course of action that holds any hope is for victims of character violence to explore the depths of their own psyche to ferret out the unconscious material that gets hooked by personal attacks from others.

    The focus is the dignity of the soul, the nobility of being, the preciousness of life.

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Open-Secrets