Open-Secrets

Tag: self-image

  • Ego Hair Extensions

    Ego Hair Extensions

    Is Your Alter Ego Craving Hair Extensions?

    ego hair extensionsWhen you wake up from one of those good hair nights, do you want to run for the scissors or the salon to build on your wild look with ego hair extensions?

    Body art, tattoos, metal bits, body sculpting, cosmetic surgery, liposuction, spray tanning, eyebrow threading, hair extensions… the choices seem endless these days for creating a body image to reflect who we are, want to be or think we are. Which seems to connect to the age-old quest to know – Who am I?

    In the lexicon of spirituality, self-image is usually associated with ego identity. An alter ego is a different ego identity from our normal one or sense of self… a rock star, a past life, an abandoned child – who knows? Alter egos can be anything – a wish for another theater of being?

    I had no idea of the extent of the evolution of hair extensions and the contribution they are making to the world of fashion and glamor. Basic hair extension types remind me of enneagram types.

    According to Alter Ego Hair Design  – Hair extensions are pre-tipped strands of hair that are attached to small sections of your own natural hair near the root. Length, volume or both is now safe and comfortable to achieve, so you can stop dreaming about the hairstyle of your dreams!

    Hair extensions can enable you to transform the appearance of fine, lifeless or short hair into thick, long, beautiful looking hair. Using human hair extensions, you can literally change your hair in an afternoon. Don’t wait another day to experience the excitement of what hair extensions can do for you! Whether you just need volume or you want super long locks, it’s the hair you’ve always dreamed of, made real!

     The quest, the seeking, the endless search for meaning and self-worth continue – as does the desire to find the right image to reflect the self – ego, alter ego, or other.

     

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  • How Good Friends Can Keep Us Down

    Well Intentioned Friends Can Support Our Deficiencies

    Freedom is near and dear to the human soul. Most people I know value the freedom to chase their dreams.

    chasing_dreamsRecently, I have been observing a friend who is working overtime chasing her dream of success. Success, for her, has many components – financial, recognition, security, acceptance, material, etc. I think she is a good representation of a normal person with ambition and drive wanting to improve their quality of life.

    Her image of success has physical, emotional and psychological components. She is listening to many audio books on success to help her stay focused and motivated. Many of the messages in these self-help materials are in the nature of: you can do it; you can create the life you want; create the life you were destined to have; tell the universe what you want and it will respond; the “secret” is the power of positive thinking or visualization; or similar guidance.

    What’s interesting to me is that she already has many of the things she is chasing. She just doesn’t see them or own them. She is, in fact, chasing parts of herself that are already there. There is a not so subtle rejection in this type of behavior.

    Somewhere in the mix is a sense of lack. There must be. Why would we seek something we already have unless we don’t see it and feel it is lacking in us?

    There seems to be this crazy misunderstanding of “positive” versus “negative” thinking. In the course of my life, I have encountered many, many people who are fanatic about positive thinking. Their positive thinking seems to prohibit them from looking at their more subtle or unconscious negative self-images or beliefs. The thinking seems to be – if I tell myself I’m wonderful, lovable or whatever a zillion times, then eventually I will be regardless of my unconscious beliefs about myself.

    Well, I guess that’s one way to pass the limited time we have on this earth.

    This orientation toward self-help and self-improvement is very wide spread in our culture – to the extent that it is easy for our friends to offer us support and encouragement that actually supports our unconscious beliefs instead of really supporting our movement toward freedom. It is well intentioned help that comes from a place of love and caring, but think about it – if I support your efforts to chase your tail – is that really the support you need?

    I think the more loving thing to do is to try and help you stop chasing your tail and and take a close look in the mirror. Why aren’t you able to see what is so obvious to others? It’s not negative to explore negative beliefs and self-images. In fact, it’s one of the most positive things we can do to support our movement toward true freedom, wholeness and fulfillment.

    Instead of avoiding or trying to cover up those limiting beliefs, we should be trying to expose them to the light of consciousness so we can see them for what they are – beliefs – ideas about ourselves that have been taken to be true. Seeing them in the clear light of the present moment sets in motion one of the most fundamental truths of realty – the truth will set us free.

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  • Self-Image Abuse

    compassionSelf-Torture is a Big Love Affair

    A friend of mine recently commented that her ego hated a recent video someone had taken of her. An hour later, in a book I am reading the author addressed self-abuse – “We would never let people treat others the way we treat ourselves.”

    The author went on to say that this chronic internal negative self-talk is probably the number one factor in personal misery. And this internal criticism is what keeps our lives locked in their current form.

    No big surprises for me, but I appreciate the synchronicity of the reminders. My friend is pleasant on the eyes and a joy to be around, but things are different for her. Inside her head a totally different reality exists.

    As it happens, I was discussing this friend with common friend earlier in the day and we both see her similarly. It’s amazing how we could get the whole country to say – wow, you’re fabulous – and our inner critic’s opinion would out-weigh 250 million people.

    Here’s the $64 million dollar question – who’s voice is that in our heads? We weren’t born with it. It wasn’t pre-installed. It came from outside to find a cozy little home inside where it can endlessly rattle around making our lives miserable – robbing us of the simple treasures in life – peace, joy, innocence…

    How’s the daily mental chit chat going for you?

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  • Self-Portrait vs Self-Image

    The reified mind operates in the world on self-images and the conceptional. The true artist is able to step into another dimension to produce a true self-portrait.

  • Disidentification

    PoppyI came across this post while looking into disidentification. The post, in part, has an exercise in disidentification. There are a lot of “I” statements in the exercise and then this paragraph:

    Through the process of disidentification you become more and more your own manager. You find yourself becoming more free from concerns about the expectations or judgments of other people. The self is the inner director.

    There is little in this exercise, as I see it, that involves disidentification. In fact, just the opposite it increases identification with an idealized self.

    Disidentification is a natural result of open-ended inquiry into the nature of the self. Who am I? What am I? Exploring my beliefs, attitudes and convictions is part of the process of disidentification.

    The process of disidentification often begins with a situation in which we are totally charged, reactive and identified with some self-image from the past. These processes are psychodynamic slices of a larger overall process for the seeker of true nature.

    This manager and director of the self mentioned above is the central identification. The deeper implications of disidentification are clearly seen in the Buddha’s questioning of the existence of self.

     

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  • Truth vs. Saving Face

    Over the course of 5+ decades, I have had to learn the hard way to stand with the Truth. I’m not 100%, but I’m making progress.

    Some of the longest walks in my life were short in distance, but long in challenge and difficulty as I turned toward the Truth and walked away from saving face or self-image. I remember clearly one of the most difficult walks of this nature I made. I was in my late-twenties. That walk has supported me more than I can ever say in turning toward the Truth.

    Our idealized self-image is just that an image and our dear friend, the superego, uses that very effectively to constantly harangue us, or more likely – beat the shit out of us.

    When we get comfortable with losing face – letting go of the prized self-image, our hearts and minds can soar to new heights.

    As this image reflects, when the self-image falls, the temple of wisdom is revealed.

Open-Secrets