A couple of notes from the Ridhwan 2009 Summer Retreat:
The View of Totality is outside dual and non-dual, it includes both.
Mysterious Being is behind the evolution of the universe and life and consciousness and the soul.As it evolves our experience, it manifests as the enlightenment drive.
Our responsibility, viewed from the perspective of the individual self is to practice, the Fulcrum is the agency of Being.
As the living being practices through the individual, luminosity pervades the soul and reveals the depth of true nature to itself.
Every time we practice, it is the living being practicing. The appropriation of practice is an important thing to pay attention to. It is not the practice of the self.
It is not an individual self putting out the Diamond Approach. It is through the practice of the living being that the teaching arises.
Years ago, when I started this journey of exploration into “what is the nature of me,” I had a period of interest in dreams. Many teachers encourage us to explore our dreams. I had very little interest in dream interpretation, still do – though the occasional insight is of interest.
Lucid Dreaming
What I was mostly curious about in those days was lucid dreaming as I had heard that “waking up” in a dream could be used as a doorway into out-of-the-body travel. Over the years, I have become quite the lucid dreamer. Often when I sleep, I continue to be aware. I work with that awareness similar to the way I worked with lucid dreaming – waking up within the medium of experience.
Working with the Affective Content of Dreams
Over the last ten years my interest in dreams is more focused on the affective quality present in the dream. I have found this to be quite useful in helping me move through various levels of identity and object relations. If the self in a dream is an extension or construction of the waking me, then it seems fair to assume that I am somehow dragging my historic content into the dream in some fashion.
Last night was a good example of how i work with dreams these days.
Dreams of Humiliation
I was at an event with a large group Diamond Approach students. I recognized many of these people from my waking life. A new book was out, that contained a specific paragraph about me. In reading the paragraph, I experienced a very deep and searing sense of humiliation.
I went to a twenty-year friend of mine to ask why she had allowed this to be printed. She told me she had nothing to do with it. As I walked away, I fell to the floor, began sobbing and shaking uncontrollably.
At this point I awakened – 3:50am. The sense of humiliation was flooding my psyche and body. I explored it a bit and became aware of the judgmental part of the experience. The superego was having a field day kicking my butt.
I find shame and humiliation some of the most difficult work. The power of the inner critic attacks is severe. Becoming lost or trapped in the identity of the humiliated one seems easy when confronted with such powerful forces.
Inner Critic / Superego Judgments
We will never win a battle or an argument with the superego/inner critic. What’s needed is disengage from the attack so we can explore our experience. Having worked with the superego and identifications for over twenty years, I often work with the attack by just agreeing with superego and then go about looking into my experience.
The interesting thing about shame and humiliation is the raw, searing quality of exposure present. There is such a pure sense of being stripped naked and exposed to harsh elements. I worked with these elements for a couple of hours – in and out of sleep.
The Relative is a Bridge to the Real
In exploring the actual phenomenological experience of humiliation, I found the elements of exposure and nakedness were really openness, space and transparency. When the identity of the humiliated self or even a historical self is allowed be challenged, it will often dissolve. What is left is the experience of our experience.
The qualities of openness, space and transparency are aspects of our true nature.
Opening my eyes to the world at 7:10am – a glorious day was blooming!
We’ve defined the Soul’s Compass as an intelligence located in the heart that’s capable of perceiving and responding to the good. In Hebrew there’s a concept called yetzer ha-tov – the urge to good. Sometimes yetzer -ha-tov is imagined sitting on one shoulder, and yetzer ha-ra’ – the evil urge – on the other. We grow in wisdom through our attempts to inquire into, and ultimately transcend the tension of those opposite impulses. The function of the evil urge is to clarify the good, the true, and the beautiful by motivating us to orient to the visible fruits of Spirit in our choices.
St. Ignatius of Loyola, the founder of the Jesuit order, was the Catholic dean of discernment. In the late 15th century, when he was born, discernment was indeed centered on distinguishing good from evil in the classical theological sense of whether a thought came from God or the devil. In the theology of Ignatius, which reflected the thinking of the time, the devil was thought to be a crafty creature intent on leading us astray who was separate from our own more primitive, instinctive desires and inclinations. But regardless of where the “evil urge” originates – most likely from our own inborn nature and conditioning – we can easily distinguish it from the action of our higher nature by the inner state it produces, which Ignatius described as desolation in contrast to consolation.
– Consolation is a feeling of inner warmth, of being loved by and loving the Creator. A state of interior joy, consolation is characterized by a quiet mind and an open heart. One feels inspired, confident, courageous… held and supported by unseen but beneficent forces.
– Desolation is a state of interior disturbance that Ignatius called “darkness of the soul.” Sadness, sloth, and separateness from God are its hallmarks. Today’s common maladies of burnout, depression, despondency, addiction and hopelessness are all symptoms of desolation.
This is fine example of how authors Joan Borysenko and Gordon Dveirin bring wisdom from the past and from differing traditions to their open-ended inquiry into spiritual guidance. Your Soul’s Compass is a great blend of insight from the past and present into the question – What is Spiritual Guidance?
Love is the dancing cry of the soul, calling the body to worship
Like a shining whirlpool, or a spinning mayfly
So is love among the skies.
I leap across the mountaintops, madly singing the song of all songs
I float through the ether, intoxicated, thrilled
I think only of your love, your calling to me
And I dance the thousand dances of love, all returning to you.
It is not the play of children, nor the detached unity of wise sages
Unreal! Unnecessary!
Where is the beauty?
When I, like a glowing comet, may flash around your sun
Laughing, singing, with the joy of loving you!
Wine makes drunk the mind and body
But it is love which thrills the soul
When I approach you, I feel the mad pounding of love
The singing wonder
The joy which opens blossoms on the trees of the world.
Come to me, and I shall dance with you
In the temples, on the beaches, through the crowded streets
Be you man or woman, plant or animal, slave or free
I shall show you the brilliant crystal fires, shining within
I shall show you the beauty deep within your soul
I shall show the path beyond Heaven.
Only dance, and your illusions will blow in the wind
Dance, and make joyous the love around you
Dance, and your veils which hide the Light
Shall swirl in a heap at your feet.
The problem with in-laws
