Open-Secrets

Category: Perceptions

  • Forgiveness

    forgivenessWhat is Forgiveness?

    I was watching Deepak Chopra on Bill O’Reilly and the notion of forgivness came up for me. We hear the phrase – I forgive you – all the time and yet, I notice in many of these situations, there appears to be residual angst in the consciousness of those forgiving.

    Wikipedia – Forgiveness is typically defined as the process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, and ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.

    Hillary Rodham Clinton: In the Bible it says they asked Jesus how many times you should forgive, and he said 70 times 7. Well, I want you all to know that I’m keeping a chart.

    Martin Luther King, jr.:  We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.

    Forgiveness involves both the heart and the mind. In my experience, the heart opens so wide, it can hold the entire situation, all the pain, suffering and betrayal. In this extraordinary vastness a magical openness and acceptance and kindness arise that frees the heart of anguish.

    The effect on the mind is like erasing a slate – beginner’s mind. The past is still the past – events happened. But the past no longer defines me or the other. Not only is the other truly forgiven, the other is free to emerge in a whole new light in my world.

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  • Give Me THE GIFT

    Give THE GIFT of Honest Feedback

    We’re in the midst of the gift-giving season. As we wander the malls, the boutiques and the Internet looking for those perfect gifts, let’s not forget one of the gifts that serves the soul – honest feedback.

    Superego, inner critic and self-esteem issues can inhibit us from providing valuable feedback to those we meet, greet and love. The same issues can prevent us from receiving feedback that would be invaluable for our process, growth and unfoldment.

    THE GIFT often falls under the heading of – tough love. The invitation extended here is for us to be receptive to honest feedback. Embracing feedback from others is invaluable – EVEN IF IT IS TOTALLY OFF BASE.

    Feedback that is insightful and on-target gives us an opportunity to see ourselves more clearly and take corrective action. Feedback that misses the mark often creates a reaction in us, which provides us insight into our deeper more subtle issues and structures that continue to distort our perception of ourselves and others.

    Resistance to “negative” feedback can stop us from discovering some of the most valuable insight. Some of the most profound growth opportunities (gifts) often come in wrapped in plain or ugly gift wrap.

    When someone asks if we are open to feedback – consider this response – Go ahead, give me THE GIFT.

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  • Dream Work – Humiliation Dream

    Working with Dreams to Free the Soul

    Dream Interpretation vs. Dream Work

    Years ago, when I started this journey of exploration into “what is the nature of me,” I had a period of interest in dreams. Many teachers encourage us to explore our dreams. I had very little interest in dream interpretation, still do – though the occasional insight is of interest.

    Lucid Dreaming

    What I was mostly curious about in those days was lucid dreaming as I had heard that “waking up” in a dream could be used as a doorway into out-of-the-body travel. Over the years, I have become quite the lucid dreamer. Often when I sleep, I continue to be aware. I work with that awareness similar to the way I worked with lucid dreaming – waking up within the medium of experience.

    Working with the Affective Content of Dreams

    Over the last ten years my interest in dreams is more focused on the affective quality present in the dream. I have found this to be quite useful in helping me move through various levels of identity and object relations. If the self in a dream is an extension or construction of the waking me, then it seems fair to assume that I am somehow dragging my historic content into the dream in some fashion.

    Last night was a good example of how i work with dreams these days.

    Dreams of Humiliation

    I was at an event with a large group Diamond Approach students. I recognized many of these people from my waking life. A new book was out, that contained a specific paragraph about me. In reading the paragraph, I experienced a very deep and searing sense of humiliation.

    I went to a twenty-year friend of mine to ask why she had allowed this to be printed. She told me she had nothing to do with it. As I walked away, I fell to the floor, began sobbing and shaking uncontrollably.

    At this point I awakened – 3:50am. The sense of humiliation was flooding my psyche and body. I explored it a bit and became aware of the judgmental part of the experience. The superego was having a field day kicking my butt.

    I find shame and humiliation some of the most difficult work. The power of the inner critic attacks is severe. Becoming lost or trapped in the identity of the humiliated one seems easy when confronted with such powerful forces.

    Inner Critic / Superego Judgments

    We will never win a battle or an argument with the superego/inner critic. What’s needed is disengage from the attack so we can explore our experience. Having worked with the superego and identifications for over twenty years, I often work with the attack by just agreeing with superego and then go about looking into my experience.

    The interesting thing about shame and humiliation is the raw, searing quality of exposure present. There is such a pure sense of being stripped naked and exposed to harsh elements. I worked with these elements for a couple of hours – in and out of sleep.

    The Relative is a Bridge to the Real

    In exploring the actual phenomenological experience of humiliation, I found the elements of exposure and nakedness were really openness, space and transparency. When the identity of the humiliated self or even a historical self is allowed be challenged, it will often dissolve. What is left is the experience of our experience.

    The qualities of openness, space and transparency are aspects of our true nature.

    Opening my eyes to the world at 7:10am – a glorious day was blooming!

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  • Coming to You Soon Through Understanding

    Dream-process-understandingThis phrase was in my dreams last night. It struck such a chord with me, that I remember thinking about it in my dream and, apparently, it stuck in my consciousness somewhere.

    On the way to 24 Hour Fitness at 5:30am today, I was pondering – Coming to You Soon Through Understanding, the process of understanding, and a relative of mine that seems incapable of self-reflection.

    The normal process of understanding is a pale reflection of the power that inquiry, self-reflection, insight and revelation bring to the soul’s unfoldment. To change the deep programming and convictions that exist in the soul requires us to be powerfully affected by reality – what’s real.

    Thinking about change, adopting strategies to live by, positive affirmations, and the like are not enough to dissolve fundamental beliefs and misunderstandings that keep the soul from knowing and living a realized life.

    Coming to You Soon Through Understanding – Self-Realization. That’s how the dream ended. When I first heard the phrase in the dream it was like an advertisement. I was wondering, in the dream, what are they promoting. (I suppose “they” are actually me since it was my dream)

    The relative, I mentioned earlier, is a constant source of contemplation for me. It boggles my mind that a person can absolutely believe that the problem always resides in the other. There seems to be an inability  (beyond the question capacity) to actually be able to look at oneself from a place of openness and curiosity. There isn’t even a spark of interest or desire to explore the possibilities of the self and the world being more than one imagines it to be.

    There is nothing quite like the wonderment, the bedazzlement and the delight of revelation through understanding.

    Of Interest – perhaps

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  • What Do You Do, When You Do What You Do

    Butterfly_chaosYou’ve heard of chaos theory?

    • When a butterfly flaps it’s wings in the Caribbean Islands, does it affect us here in California?
    • When a tree falls in the forest and no one is there, does it make a sound.
    • If a man makes a decision while his wife is not around, is he still wrong?

    Few of us consider the consequences of our everyday actions in depth. If we did, we’d be busy all the time thinking of the consequences of our actions. Of course, the superego is there to help you with this endless mind chatter.

    Enlightened souls seem to spend little time thinking of consequences, they act from an integrated place of being. Thus, their actions are in the flow of the logos, in harmony with the arising of being.

    For those of us still trying to do the best we can with our actions and doings, it seems the more open our hearts, the more likely our actions will be less violent to others. Violence = Divisive = Separate

    You’ve heard the Dervish Tale???

    Knock, Knock

    “Who’s there?”

    “You”

    Reminds me of Cheech & Chong –

    Knock, Knock

    “Who’s there?”

    “Dave”

    “Dave’s not here anymore”

    What’s your favorite meditation koan?

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  • Ego Self

    Ego-selfWhat is the Ego Self?

    Is the ego self something we need to reject?

    The ego self is what most refer to when they say – me, I, me self, you, her, him, and etc. The ego self is the sense of self that most people have any awareness of.

    That awareness is usually very vague. Very few take the time or expend the energy to investigate what the ego self is. Exploring the ego self can be very challenging and painful – something not very appealing to people in general because it does not usually appeal to the ego self.

    Many people talk about or refer to – their true self. Most talk about a true self is really about a renovation of the ego self. Listening to talk about the true self generally consists of listening to the ego self babble on about an extreme makevoer.

    It’s easy to spot this. The give-away is that the self talking expects to still be around to enjoy the fruits of its rebirth. In fact, what really happens in transformation of the ego self is the self ceases to exist as we have historically known it. There is no self there to pat itself on the back and say – job well done, now let’s go and save mankind.

    Taking the position or viewpoint of getting rid of the ego self only results in more internal conflict and more resistance from the self. Do you really know of anyone who jumps for joy when you offer to annihilate them?

    The most productive and meaningful way to move toward what is real is with openness. Open-ended curiosity about the self, the ego self, who we take ourselves to be – is the way to align ourselves with the optimizing force of reality.

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